Waiting For You-Part One Friday Fictioneers Flash Fiction Photo Prompt!

 

Hello all!

I hope you are well and ready for some more Flash Fiction. As always, we are given our photo prompt by our wonderful Friday Fictioneer leader, Rochelle . The rules are to write a story in 100 words, using the photo prompt as inspiration. :) This week I’m trying something slightly different…there is another part of this story to read and it is happening at exactly the same time as this I’ll Be Waiting For You.

So here is my attempt for this week. I hope you enjoy it.

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

Waiting For You. 

 I fidget on the blue metal seats, designed for discomfort.

A middle-aged couple rush through the doors and straight to the desk.

“Mum?”

She’s crying as they are led away.

 I follow and watch as they disappear through the pale green curtains of bay two.

‘Are you ok?’

Startled, I stepped back.

Faded grey eyes stare up at me, as I took in her white curled hair and small features. She smiled at me.

‘I’m just waiting.’

She nods, “I know.”

There’s a burst of activity in bay four.

‘Stand clear.’ A deep voice hollered.

My boyfriend steps through the curtains of bay four.

“Chris!”

“Mia!”

He sweeps me into his arms.

“I thought I’d lost you…the crash, I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”I glance towards bay three as Chris tenses in my arms.

“Grandma?”

That can’t be right, he’d said she was…

The old woman walks towards us, her smile lighting up her wrinkled face,“now that you’re both here, shall we go?”

“But…”

“All will be explained when we get there Mia.” She takes Chris’s hand in hers.

“Where?”

My Grandad steps out of bay three. My mouth hangs open in shock.

I remember the last time I saw him…just before he died.

He winks at me,“you’ll see.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my offering! If you fancy reading some more stories from the Friday Fictioneers please click on the little blue froggy, you won’t be disappointed!

The Hollow

19th-22nd October 2016

Mad Cow Productions present THE HOLLOW By Agatha Christie – THE HOLLOW is a classic English country house mystery, and rather a lot of fun.

An unhappy game of romantic follow-the-leader explodes into murder one weekend at The Hollow, home of Sir Henry and Lucy Angkatell.

With all the usual suspects assembled:  the jilted lover, mistress, wife, and of course, a butler. It is up to Inspector Colquhoun and Sergeant Penny to work out “whodunit!”

To book tickets at Theatre Severn Click here!

For more information about Mad Cow Productions click here!

Advertisements

24 thoughts on “Waiting For You-Part One Friday Fictioneers Flash Fiction Photo Prompt!

    • Sorry, I got side tracked. There is another part of the story that runs alonside this one. I’ve just added it to the link. I’m trying something different this week and may have got it very wrong lol. Heidi 🙂

      Like

  1. Dear Heidi,

    I’ll admit to being a tad confused as to the who’s who’s at first. I went back for a second read. Glad I did. I get the impression that the narrator is dead and is there to collect her loved ones. Am I getting warm? I liked seats designed for discomfort. Subtle. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Rochelle,
      Everythings going wrong lol!
      I had another part of the story to put up, which should help explain. It’s all set up now, fingers crossed. Have a poorly child at home and got distracted. But you were still spot on with the story though!
      Thank you,
      Huge hugs Heidi
      🙂

      Like

  2. Pingback: I’ll Be Waiting- Part Two Friday fictioneers flash Fiction Photo Prompt! | heidibusbybrown

    • Thank you Sandra. I gave myself a tough challenge today lol. I have added what I originally wrote for part one. If you get chance please take a look and tell me if it’s clearer. This has been a fab lesson for me and would love the input. Many thanks Heidi 🙂

      Like

    • It was a challenge, it didn’t quite work lol. I struggled with the word count today. I have however added in what I had written origionally. If you do get chance, would you be able to have a look and see if it’s clearer. Heidi 🙂

      Like

  3. I read both parts and still found it a bit confusing. It was hard to determine who all the characters were and who was saying what, but I got the basic idea. I like the approach you took and perhaps it was the 100 word limit that prevented a bit more clarity. Cool idea, Heidi.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was worth a go lol! Word count was frustrating today. I have been naughty and added what I had origionally written. If you get chance, would you be able to have a look at part one and see if it’s clearer? The main reason for doing this is for me to learn and try stuff I wouldn’t normally do. Thank you so much hun! Heidi 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I read both stories, twice, and think I got the basics of it, and I like it. It has a dream-like feeling, and it is confusing, and confused, which it should be. If there was an afterlife, I guess that’s what it must feel like to be freshly dead: confusion, disorientation, recognition–maybe leading to joy, hopefully not to horror. I like your experiment.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you ever so much! It was a challenge and a half lol. But a fantastic learning experience for me. A number of my friends have recently lost loved ones and it left me thinking about what happens after. Heidi 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I read the other one first — then this one. An accident — and being met by loved ones from the other side. They are there, hovering, waiting to escort them – help them transition from this world to the next. That’s what came to my mind. In other words, your stories spurred my thoughts and made my mind jump into connections — and that is a good thing for a writer to do! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A lot was happening all at once, but I think I figured it out by the end. A comforting family gathering at the end. Well done, Heidi. That play sounds good but I’m in India so don’t think I’ll be going. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s